Writing Practice Prescription

Don’t you just love to go to your writing group and watch the nervous two-step that some of the participants demonstrate when they read? Perhaps you know the drill. The writer starts to read and then sees a mistake and grabs a pencil or pen to correct the writing. Two sentences later, the same thing happens. So it goes throughout the whole reading as audience members drift off into their own private thoughts leaving the writer to continue the good struggle.

If you don’t want to lose your listeners and demonstrate this two-step reading at your next reading, take two steps in advance:

1.    After you finish writing your piece, run the spelling checker.
2.    Listen to how your piece reads before attending your writing group.

Listening to your writing can be achieved by reading your prose out loud or asking someone else to read it out loud for you.

Mac OS X users, you can ask your computer to read to you by opening your “system preferences” and then following these directions:

System preferences → speech  → at very top, choose “text to speech” → then select the “system voice” bar just below to choose a voice → drop down to third check box and check “speak selected text when the key is pressed → to the right of that, click on “set key”–>when the box drops down, type in what you want to be a command. I use “Option + S” → click ok and then close “system preferences.” → Open a document and select the text that you want read  → Once the highlighting is in place, press the option and s key at the same time →  wait a few seconds and the reading should start.

Some place, some where–if you can find it–the Mac OS X manual should also tell you how to this. If you find it, please send a link so I can update this post.

by

Carol Kinsey Goman, PhD

A new study from the University of Chicago found that the more gestures babies used at 14 months (shaking a head “no,” raising arms to be picked up, pointing at an object of interest, etc.), the more words they had in their vocabulary at 3ˆ years old. Which is no surprise to those of us who study body language. Here’ are a few facts I found while researching my book, “The Nonverbal Advantage: Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work.”

Gesture and speech are so tightly connected that we can’t do one without the other. Brain imaging has shown that a region called Broca’s area, which is important for speech production, is active not only when we’re talking, but when we wave our hands. And as we grow into adulthood, gesturing becomes more complex, more nuanced, and more interesting.

Did you know  . . .

• A blind person talking to another blind person will use gestures.
• All of us use gestures when talking on the telephone.
• When people are passionate about what they’re saying, their gestures become more animated.
• Studies have found that when you communicate through active gesturing, you tend to be evaluated as warm, agreeable, and energetic, while remaining still makes you be seen as logical, cold, and analytic.
• On the other hand, over-gesturing with flailing arms (especially when hands are raised above the shoulders) can make you appear out of control, less believable and less powerful.
• Some gestures have an agree-upon meaning to a group and are consciously used instead of words. (The “thumbs up” gesture in North America is one example). These gestures very by culture – and what is acceptable in one culture can be rude or insulting in another.
• Many deception cues are subconscious gestures – like the hand to mouth or nose gestures which are typically use when lying. (And, by the way, those same gestures are often displayed when listening to someone you don’t believe.)
• Pacifying gestures are used to help us deal with stress:  Any self touching can be calming. You may rub your legs, pull at your collar, play with your hair, rub your neck, or even cross your arms in a kind of “self-hug.”
• Open palm gestures indicate candor, while hidden hands (or hands in pockets) signals that the person has something to hide or doesn’t want to participate in a conversation.
• Low confidence is often shown by wringing hands and interlacing fingers.
• High confidence can be displayed by a steepling gesture (palms separated and fingers touching). You’ll see this used most often by politicians, executives and professors.

So, remember, it’s okay to talk with your hands – as long as you know what they’re saying!
–

Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., is a professional speaker, executive coach, and the author of THE NONVERBAL ADVANTAGE – Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work. Carol’s programs on this topic include: The Nonverbal Advantage (general business audience), The Nonverbal Advantage in Sales, The Silent Language of Leadership, and Body Language for Women Who Mean Business.   For information about booking Carol to speak at your next event,, contact her by phone: 510-526-1727, email: CGoman@CKG.com, or through her web sites: www.NonverbalAdvantage.com and www.CKG.com.

Rare diseases work as a plague on patients and their families–few understand their plight and even fewer have sympathy for the victims of these diseases.

What is a “rare disease?” A disease that lives as an “orphan” condition in the House of Medicine, defies diagnosis, and one that consists of vague and changing symptoms. The National Organization for Rare Disorders has a list of rare diseases that can be found on their website by clicking here.

If you have vague symptoms and suffer from the symptoms that prevent you from being as productive as you feel you should be, check out these diseases and explore the concept that whatever ails you is not “all in your head” but perhaps on of these rare disorders or diseases.

Laurie Edwards, a writer who lives with a rare disorder, can be an invaluable guide for you. Drop by and check out her website by clicking here. You can learn more about Laurie by reading her book, Life Disrupted: Getting Real About Chronic Illness in Your Twenties and Thirties.

A recent Speakers’ Conference featured a keynote speech delivered by a motivational speaker who had just retired from the CEO position of a major, well-known airline. His presentation reflected his philosophy of life which matched the philosophy of his former airline. The color scheme used in his slides reflected the colors that identified that well-known airline. His speech featured words that captured the theme of aviation, the spirit of flying, and the mechanics of getting from here to there on an airplane. Brilliant. He was launching his new speaking platform from his recent CEO platform.

Last summer I met Allan J. Hamilton, MD, FACS (pictured to the right) at the San Francisco Writing for Change Conference. Allan’s workshop described his just-published book, The Scalpel and the Soul, Encounters with Surgery, the Supernatural, and the Healing Power of Hope. The book, a medical memoir, makes for fascinating read and captures the storyteller voice of this gifted surgeon.

Like the recent airline CEO, Dr. Hamilton draws words from his profession to sprinkle throughout his work. In a story about a fortune teller who predicted he would become a famous physician, Dr. Halimton writes, “She gave me a secret dose of hope–a shot of mythical confidence.”

Try dropping a few words and phrases from your careet into your memoir writing. You and you readers might be very happy when you spice up your writing with this technique.

At the San Francisco Writers Conference last weekend I had the opportunity to listen to a wonderful presenter by the name of Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D. Carol presented a workshop on The Nonverbal Advantage for Writers.

Her handout is reprinted here with her permission:

The Truth About Liars

Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D.

“You’re next in line for a promotion.”

“Let’s have lunch sometime.”

“I’d love to read your report.”

“No, those pants don’t make you look fat.”

We get lied to all the time. People are dishonest with us out of politeness, to avoid punishment, to protect others, or to deliberately mislead us for personal gain.

On Fox’s new drama, “Lie to Me,” Tim Roth’s character (Dr. Cal Lightman) is a human lie detector with the ability to recognize a variety of body language cues that indicate deception. The show’s science is based on solid research in emotions and nonverbal communication. But is it really that easy to spot a liar?

Well, yes . . . and no.

Yes, liars can “leak” nonverbal information in telltale “micro expressions” (those genuine emotions that flash across someone’s face in less than one-fifth of a second) and “suppressed expressions,” which slip out before realized and are then replaced with more acceptable reactions. One illustrative thing that “Lie to Me” does is incorporate photos of real people (Bill Clinton, Saddam Hussein, Kato Kaelin. Simon Cowell). When the actors are caught making a particular facial expression, the show cuts to a photo of a famous person with that same expression, all designed to make the point that there are telltale signs – if you know where to look.

Yes, there are behaviors that suggest deception. Some examples are:
o Incongruence between what’s being said and the speaker’s body language (like saying “no” while nodding “yes”).

• An increased blink rate – especially over 50 blinks per minute – or eyelid flutter.
• Gazing downward after asserting innocence.
• Shorter, less descriptive statements.
• Incomplete gestures, like a shrug that uses only one shoulder.
• A decrease in hand gestures, especially those used to illustrate speech – like drawing pictures in the air to help explain what is meant.
• Fidgeting feet that shuffle, wind around each other, stretch and curl or kick out.
• Dilated pupils.
• Face touching – especially around the mouth and nose.
• Discrepancies in timing: When the lie is well rehearsed, deceivers start their answers more quickly than truth-tellers. If taken by surprise, however, the liar takes longer to respond.

It’s also true you are already subconsciously picking up on signals of deception. Your ability to do that is one of your basic survival instincts. In early human’s history, rapidly deciding if someone was dangerous or duplicitous was often a matter of life or death. And consistent among the research is that as the importance of having the lie go undetected increases, the more difficult for the liar to conceal the falsehood.

But, as innate as this ability may be, and as compelling as the scientific research is, it’s not all that easy to catch a liar. Here’s why . . .

1) There is no absolute signal for deception. Most cues, including blink rates, vocal tone, pupil dilation, etc., are signs of heightened anxiety and stress. But there is no way of telling if the observed stress is caused by lying or by something else. Likewise, incongruence, where gestures contradict words, may be a sign of deceit or simply an indication of some inner conflict between what the person is thinking and saying.

2) Although done with ease on television shows, micro expressions occur infrequently and are difficult for most of us to spot without video footage to review. (Suppressed expressions are somewhat easier to see because they appear more often and last longer.)

3) Signs of deceit may differ from individual to individual. Take eye contact, for example: Some liars shift their gaze and won’t meet your eyes, while others give too much eye contact. One person may raise her vocal pitch when she lies while another speaks in a flat, unemotional tone.

4) Nonverbal cues need to be evaluated in what is called a “gesture cluster” – movements, postures and actions that (taken together) reinforce a common point. A single gesture can have several meanings or mean nothing at all. So when you are trying to catch a liar, you can never do it from a signal deceit behavior.

5) It’s tough to spot deception unless you know a person’s baseline behavior under relaxed or generally stress-free conditions. The more you understand which gestures or postures are part of someone’s unique repertoire, the more you can spot significant deviation from these patterns. This is why police interrogators begin with a series of broad, non-threatening questions to help establish that baseline.

6) All nonverbal communication is influenced by cultural heritage, and the higher the stress level, the more likely it is that culture-specific gestures will show up. It is extremely difficult to judge nonverbal deception cues in people from another culture.

7) No one, not even with the aid of functional MRIs to track brain activity, can identify liars who believe the lies they are telling.

In my speeches to business organizations, I often start with an exercise in which the audience guesses which of four volunteers is lying. And audience members are pretty good at picking out the liar – they just don’t know how they did it. So watch the show. You may come away being a little more discerning about the things people tell you.
Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., is a professional speaker, executive coach, and the author of THE NONVERBAL ADVANTAGE – Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work. Carol’s programs on this topic include: The Nonverbal Advantage (general business audience), The Nonverbal Advantage in Sales, The Silent Language of Leadership, and Body Language for Women Who Mean Business.   For information about booking Carol to speak at your next event,, contact her by phone: 510-526-1727, email: CGoman@CKG.com, or through her web sites: www.NonverbalAdvantage.com and www.CKG.com.
–
Author of ten books, including:

• The Nonverbal Advantage: Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work
• This Isn’t the Company I Joined — How to Lead in a Business Turned Upside Down
• Ghost Story: A Modern Business Fable
• Creativity in Business
• Change-Busting: 50 Ways to Sabotage Organizational Change
• Adapting to Change: Making it Work for You
• The Human Side of High-Tech

The 2009 San Francisco Writers Conference held this past weekend at the Mark Hopkins Hotel was a hugh success. I loved hearing all the success stories from past conference atendees and was inspired to get home to Write! Write! Write!

I only got to hear one keynote speech: Richard Paul Evans who wrote The Christmas Box. His charming, funny and engaging speech ended with major words of encouragement for writers everywhere. It is important to remember that success follows failure, often many failures. Keep writing no matter what.

The workshops were quite productive with some good hands-on advice and sharing. My favorite was the presentation on Building an Online Platform by Stephanie Chandler, author of From Entrepreneur to Infopreneur. Do take a few minutes to drop by her informative and fact-filled website and look around. If such a visit does note inspire you to start writing articles, please take two Aspirin and call me in the morning.

As we say back home, “God willin’ and the crick doesn’t rise,” you can find me at this same conference next February. I hope to see you there. Click here to learn more about this conference.

by

Ellen Taliaferro, MD

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”

–Henri Nouwen, Out of Solitude

Got a problem? Get a journal. Let your journal, and you the author of what goes into it, be your caring friend.

There is no substitute for a listening ear. About 400 years before Christ, Hippocrates noted that every person had a doctor inside him or her. The trick is to bring out that doctor and activate his or her wisdom. So often we know what is wrong with us or in our life but we just don’t know what it is that we know. Thus the common observation among many writers that they “write to know.”

Journal writing affords the private opportunity to express feelings, examine reactions to stressors, and explore feelings. Journals keep their secrets while you can let yours out by confiding in the pages of the journal.

What to write about?

Folks new to journal writing often wonder what to write about and where to start. The simple answer is to start anywhere and write about anything as long as it is about you. How do you:

• Feel about something
• Delight in what you see in the clouds
• React to distress

When you engage in such writing, you lay the path down to establish an ongoing writing practice. At first, it may seem that you need to force the words out but if you keep writing an amazing thing happens. Words begin to emerge on their own. Then they might even dress themselves up and try evoke different responses. You know you have arrived in the right spot when you go back an read a journal entry and then think to yourself, “Gee, I didn’t know that I know this.”

Jump-start exercise

Take a painful event that happened to you at sometimes in your life. Write it down on the top of a blank page and then start writing about how that event impacted your life. Write without thinking or editing and write steady for at least 15 minutes a day three times a week. If you wish, write longer than 15 minutes in each session and write more often than three times a week.

Big events extract big costs. It’s OK if it takes you many sessions to write about how an event impacted your life. Just keep writing. Past research has shown that this type of ongoing writing about stressful and painful events builds and restores health.

Write on!

Does Disease Have Meaning?

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), more than 90 million Americans now live with chronic diseases. These chronic diseases such as diabetes and arthritis result in a decreased quality of life, limited activity, and extended pain and suffering.

When you suffer with a chronic healthcare problem, you deal with many factors that compose that problem. Some of these factors overlap, augment each other, or oppose each other.  And each factor may call for its own physician or treatment. If you want to succeed in your quest for wellness, the first thing you must do is drop out of the “I just do what my doctor tells me” school.

Join your healthcare team. Indeed, take over:

Any why not? You have the disease, not your doctor.

Growing evidence supports your role as a collaborative team member and captain. Remember, about 90 percent of what’s needed to help you improve comes directly from you, the person with the chronic health disorder.

When you become a team caption on your healthcare team, your care will improve as well as your satisfaction as a patient.

To learn more about the growing area of “patient self management,” check out the Stanford programs on self management by clicking here.